I took a rest day as my arms and stomach were sore from bootcamp. David was loaded with cold so I made a Thai curry to try and clear his sinuses. We had no rice so it ended up being a Thai laksa sort of thing because I added rice noodles. Except from my usual walk, I didn’t do any exercise. I also made overnight oats for breakfast the next morning.
I was awake for bootcamp but I didn’t go. The vicious cycle of wanting to go, fear of going and then the guilt of not going began. I promised myself I would do a work out when I got home from work. I ended up doing a long shift and being out the house for over 11 hours. I was tired, I just wanted food and bed. I had scrambled eggs on toast for dinner, ate left over laksa for lunch and obviously had the oats for breakfast. Not bad.
I was awake for bootcamp but didn’t go again! I spent a good half an hour trying to psych myself up to go. Can anybody tell me the answer to just getting up and going? I wish I could just get back to where this didn’t used to be a problem. I wish I could remember the secret or taken note of what I did differently. Maybes it’s the dark mornings. Maybes it’s the fact I’m putting all of this out there and the pressure is on to achieve results. Maybes I’m just being lazy. Who knows. Either way something needs to change because I don’t like it. I like getting up and going to the gym, usually. I like the early starts. I have a calmer demeanour and more peaceful life when I’m exercising on the regular and I like the sense of achievement. That surely should be motivation enough. Yet I still can’t seem to get going. I’m stuck.
But I won’t quit, I will still set my alarm to go off at 4:55am Monday – Friday and I will still lay out my gym clothes the night before and I will still wake up and try to talk myself into going. Until this unknown excuse passes.