It was that time again, and by that time I mean 4:55am. I’d awoken with Sirius sat next to my bed – that’s a Harry Potter reference and those of you who get that are awesome! Yes, that horrid but familiar feeling of dread. I never know where it comes from, some days it’s there and some days it not. The black dog. I’ve just come to accept it and deal with it as and when. Now the problem I have is that morning me has obviously just woken up and at that time she doesn’t have the mental energy to fight it. 10am me would be up and about, having rational thoughts and dealing with it in a productive way. Morning me isn’t as strong so she normally opts for wrapping her arms around my partner, and staying in their safe space until it’s time to get up for work. Which is exactly what I did. Not a great start to the morning but it is what is. Like I said there’s never any rhyme or reason and I just go with the flow.
So I planned a gym visit for later on in the day, I would take my gym gear to work, change there and then I could go straight to the gym from work. Great plan! However I forgot my gym gear…
So I plan again to get home, get changed and go straight back out again. Terrific plan. Throughout the day, the thought of going to gym became less and less appealing. I could not stop yawning. I kept taking breaks from my desk to wake myself up but by the time 3’o clock rolled around I had hit a wall.
When I got home, my key fob to get into our building was not working. I tried it a few times, and it still was not working. I checked myself to make sure I wasn’t using my works or gym fob. I wasn’t. It definitely wasn’t working. I hung around not really sure what to do but then ended up following another person into my building only then to realise that I wouldn’t be able to get access to my floor as there’s another fob in the elevator. As I admitted defeat and decided to head to the pub – to grab a coffee, not a drink – and wait for David to finish work I luckily bumped into a member of body corporate who told me that some of the fobs had dropped out because of a system issue and he kindly let me up to my floor. As I was pulling on my gym gear to head back out it occurred to me that Davids might not work either and we’d both be stuck!
So I did not go to the gym, instead I cooked some pasta as I felt like my body needed it and then spent the remaining time before bed time wondering whether I need to class pasta as a cheat meal. Opinions on this would be appreciated!
- I went for a walk on my lunch break
- I ate a prepared breakfast and lunch
- I walked the long way to the ferry stop
- I walked the long way home
- David bought me a nice little posie of flowers that he swore he picked from a meadow on the way home although we live in the city and they were wrapped in cellophane. This is why I love his stupid face