So I visited a salon that specialises in eyebrow threading and tinting today. This wasn’t my first visit and I’ve always been extremely satisfied with the outcome. Having previously shelled out a small fortune at other salons, I was happy that I had finally found a place that would do a good job at a great price.
Not today.
This is what I walked out of there with….

image 4

As you can imagine, I’m mid breakdown. I sent this as a Snapchat to the bestie with “what the fuck has she done to my brows?” and followed this up with a phone call to quietly rant, rave and to stop me from doing something entirely ridiculous like rampaging back in there to shave that “stylists” brows off.
I have been reassured that it isn’t that bad by the fiance but I think he has to say that by default. It’s in the rule book isn’t it? However he has just told me to get an Uber straight home, get into my pj’s and that he will take care of dinner tonight. That’s a bad sign.
They’re not even fucking straight!



One of them is like a kiddies slide!!!


I look constantly inquisitive! And the other? Well she’s not much better, she is significantly darker than the other.

This “stylist”, how can they let her work there, destroying such an important part of the face? She should be sacked and thrown in jail for this abomination. How can they let her run loose? Eyebrows are framing the windows to the soul, people! They have to be half decent!!!! I know “sisters, not twins” but these guys aren’t even the same species!!
She commented that they were thin and I said I would love them to be thicker. Was that my admission for her to go to town with dye? Paint what’s not there? That isn’t how it works! I can tell she was panicked by the outcome by the way she was scrubbing at my forehead.
I wanted to make a fuss, complain, scream, cry and murder but what good would it do. Instead I immediately gathered my things, paid $25 and left. $25 to destroy my appearance for the next week.
It’s not the end of the world of course, there are a million worse things that can happen and I’m not a vain person, but COME ON! I’ve had my hair fall out in the back of my head due to too much bleach and I’m talking a palm sized patch here, I just styled my hair as best I could (albeit it was a pixie cut) and I dyed it dark so it was less noticeable. I’ve had a love bite on the end of my nose (no of course it wasn’t in the heat of that moment that’s weird and no I didn’t let him do it) and I covered it with make-up. But these are my EYEBROWS!
So then I put on my huge ass sunglasses to hide the disaster zone and of course today of all days, it was raining and cloudy. However I decided that I would rather look like a douche for wearing sunglasses when not entirely necessary than walk around with my eyebrows on display. I even wore them around Target. I’m hoping the rage and angry pace I was walking at worked up enough of a sweat to shift some of this dye. My glasses were steaming up so I could barely see where I was going but was I fuck taking them off.
To make myself feel better I then went and spent $200 on clothes, I did not try on said clothes as I can be 1 of 4 sizes in Target and I think we can all agree that is not something I needed today. I don’t have the strength. That can be tomorrow’s breakdown.
Will I be able to get away with these glasses at boot camp at 5am in the gym tomorrow morning? I think not, I may have to wear a hat. And what about work, I definitely won’t be able to get away with a hat or sunglasses in an office. The only thing that could fix this would be to opt for a Sia wig style haircut. That’s settles it, I’m calling in sick tomorrow.
Excuse me while I go spend several hours standing under the shower, crying.

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5 thoughts on “#eyebrowsNOTonfleek

  1. They say everything old is new again… and that the 80s are back in style. So you just tell everyone you are going with the Brooke Shields look. It’s retro.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s not a bad idea, although I’m sure Brooke shields never looked this bad. And after alllll this drama the next morning and after a couple of showers, they were perfectly fine! Go figure! Thanks for reading, you’re Gold!


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