Hair hell

So there I was sat in front of a mirror at my regular salon with a gown around my shoulders awaiting my monthly haircut. This is something in which I so extremely look forward to, I LOVE having my hair cut, styled, anything that involves in it being stroked. I have decided that I want to come back as a cat as this is mostly what their lives are about, that and lying in the sun– anyways I digress. I was settling in for what was to be an hour of sheer bliss and relaxation but looking around I couldn’t see my regular hairdresser Jessie.

A girl I didn’t recognise appeared behind me in the mirror. She was very tall with a very high pony tail that made her seem taller. She had massive boobs spilling out of a low cut top and she was wearing large, thick framed glasses that were perched right on the end of her nose, I’m not even exaggerating. There was about a cm between the end of her nose and the bridge of the glasses. I found myself wondering how they didn’t fall of her face. She had already begun messing with my hair before she even acknowledged that it was attached to me.

She had a loud and nasally voice that bellowed above my head with such force that I felt her breath on my scalp. She said that Jessie was in Bali and she would be cutting my hair, before I responded she began to suggest all kinds of styles, pulling my hair this way and that. Not wanting anything she suggested I asked politely if I could have a trim, some of the thickness taken out of it and for it to be washed and dried. She took this a dry trim. I politely corrected her.

She roared for another girl to wash my hair and I was approached by a small girl who had no business being in a customer facing role. She looked like she hated her life and everything in it, including my hair. I was led to the basin and she began washing, this bit I did enjoy until she missed my hair completely and hit my forehead with the shower and though it was uncomfortable, I tried to ignore the stray water running down my forehead into my eyes.

I was sat back in my chair and I discreetly tried to remove the mascara smudges from underneath my eyes while the knots in my hair were combed out with more force than I’m sure was required. The loud, obtuse girl appeared back in the mirror behind me and started cutting.

I was beginning to relax when she came out with this pearler “Did you know that your hair is like 2 inches longer at the back than it is everywhere else?” I replied with “No, I didn’t” obviously confused as to how I would know having not being able to see myself from behind. She then went on to ask me where and when I got my hair cut last as it seemed it had been a while. I politely reminded her that it was in fact Jessie her colleague who had last cut my hair about 4 weeks ago. Quickly to cover her back I imagine, she advised me then that I may not having been sitting straight in my chair- I’m sorry, what? At this point I was less than impressed – my hour of self-indulgence had turned into an attack and I was annoyed that I felt I had to defend myself from this loud pair of boobs.

After another few minutes of cutting she chimed up with “Do you know your hair is patchy?” As a side note, I had attempted the “bronde” look which had resulted in thick uneven highlights of blonde through my brown hair and I had since dyed it a dark chocolate colour but the blonde was flashing through in parts. When I answered “yes” to her question she began to laugh. My face was a picture! Not seeming to notice she went on to ask me why I hadn’t fixed it. I explained that I wasn’t precious about my hair being all one colour. To which she smirked and I wanted to shout “You know I have eyes and I’m sat in front of a MIRROR right?” She suggested I change my shampoo as the cheap stuff was stripping my hair. Go to hell boobs.

She continued on with the cut, blow dry and insults. My fringe had more hair cut into it because it was “a bit stringy” (yet another gem she bestowed upon me) but when I was presented with the finished result it wasn’t all that bad. She compared my cut to Alexa Chung which coincidentally was exactly the look I was going for – she ended this with “it’s a pity you don’t have her stylist” – wtf? Seriously what is this girl’s deal?

As I was mentally punching her repeatedly in the face after removing her stupid glasses and stamping on them, she removed my gown and made her way to the counter to total my bill. I followed and as I was fishing around in my bag for my wallet she boomed “that will be $95, cash or card?” I stopped dead – I had only ever paid $50! Was it extra for insults? I told her as much (not the insults part) and she started to break down my bill, raising her voice even louder in order to intimidate me, I believe. “It’s $50 for your cut and $45 for the blow dry”. I repeated that I had only ever paid $50 for the exact same treatment.

With an eye roll and a sigh she looked back through my appointments and confirmed that my last 2 payments were $50 which she then followed with “Jessie must have done you a favour but she shouldn’t have done”. Again she repeated $95 and placed the card terminal in front me.

Reluctantly I tapped on my debit card; I’d had enough and just wanted out of there. But to my absolute, utter smug delight, karma had come back around so fast that she must have broken all kinds of speed limits because rude boobs had only applied the charge of $45.00! Hahaha – yesssssa!

The transaction went through and I promptly declined my copy of the receipt as she didn’t even notice! Me and my wonky, patchy hair hot tailed it out of there as fast as my legs could carry but not before she called out after me in her horrible voice “See you next time” I shouted back “I bet you $50 you don’t!” Ok so that last part isn’t true but I totally should have!

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19 thoughts on “Hair hell

  1. Oh man. Hairdresser from hell!! Glad it’s not just me who freezes in the face of dodgy service. I wish I had the balls to say “just shut the fuck up and do what I ask without comment”. But I don’t. Sigh.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’d be the first to admit that I have the hairstyling talents of a two-year-old with broken arms, but it still depressed me to no end when a past stylist once sighed and told me that I have the worst hair in the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wowww I am so sorry this happened to you! I sincerely hope you went home and contacted the salon manager? If not, you really, really should. I worked in a salon for three years under two different owners, not as a stylist, but as a Salon Coordinator/Lead Front Desk. I can tell you several things wrong here right off the bat that this salon needs to correct ASAP. First of all, if your scheduled stylist has an emergency and has to leave the day of an appointment, the client should be called immediately and presented with the choice to reschedule or see an alternate stylist. If the client can’t be reached and still shows up for the appointment as scheduled, at that time the same option should be offered. Now, clearly, if your stylist was in BALI, that wasn’t a drop-everything, OMG-can’t-believe-this-happened, run-out-the-door emergency, and was likely planned weeks upon weeks in advance. That being the case, you absolutely should’ve been called BACK THEN and given the option to reschedule your appointment or keep it with another stylist. Also, a stylist usually is required to book her vacations far enough in advance to minimize this sort of thing happening, so that the only ones she needs to reschedule would be her standing weekly appointments, so I’m not sure what the deal is there. The person washing your hair – ugh. The salon I worked for actually had the stylists washing their own clients, which I hear is rather the exception than the rule, and many salons pay very, very little to washers. They’re usually either students still enrolled in cosmetology school or very recent graduates, though none of this is any excuse for a poor attitude – if they’re trying to get a spot on the actual team, this sure isn’t the way to go about it LOL. I could be wrong, but if I had to wager a bet, I bet Miss Jugs-a-riffic was probably someone very new to the team with no clientele yet. In a situation like this, they can get tapped to step in and swing with a real client, though this one clearly struck the f*ck out. This is why it’s really important that you voice your entire experience, because chances are, salon management will have NO idea that these things were being done and being said if you don’t let them know. All of these things desperately need to be coached (or beaten? LOL) out of these people by management. Any of the things that she attacked you with about your hair condition, if any of them are true, there are certain ways to have those conversations with a client with tact and to also provide solutions such as appropriate products that may help – again, a desperate need for proper coaching here. Last but not least, yes, when your stylist is out and you’ve received the exact same service you always do, your pricing should be the same regardless of who does it. If the salon argues that, time for a new salon. Another option you could try, if you’re hesitant to speak to management, is to reach out to your stylist as soon as she returns from Bali so it’s still fresh. If you don’t know when that is, play dumb and call the salon anonymously and pretend you want to book an appointment with her, and they should tell you “Oh she’s out till ____”. Once she’s back, you can call the salon and ask to speak to her if she’s free or if she can call you back – trust me, that happens. Let her know everything that happened, and if she’s worth her salt, she will apologize up one side and down another, she will take the issue to management herself, and you should even get a deeply discounted (if not completely comped) next service. If she doesn’t care, time to move on. All I know is, any of the ladies I work with would’ve had an absolute shit fit if they heard that someone treated their client like this in their absence. End rant. Hope that helps!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the advice! I did email their head office and they of course apologised but was not offered any discount, in just going to chalk it up to experience and move on. What’s funny is that my hair is in great condition and everyone always comments on it, yeah the colours coming through in flashes but I think it looks good! So to hell with tits!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome! Wow, no discount? I swear, no one has any clue how to run a good business anymore. Well, I still hold out hope for your normal stylist to come through with shining colors 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  4. You cannot even imagine what a nightmare is for me to go the hairdresser’s. One of the worse times, I went for one who was recommended by some friends and coming to work at your place. When she left, my hair was still wet, she had used hair gel instead of hair mousse, I had my head rolled up in a towel and waited in tears for my mum to come back home. I was 15 years old, now i am 26 and still have serious issues with hairdressers!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. How sadly relatable!! I’m still nervous when I go to hair salons because I have thin hair, and when I was a self-conscious teenager, the stylist spent the entire time talking in pure awe about how very thin my hair is.
    “::snip snip:: WOW, YOUR HAIR IS SO THIN!! ::snip:: NO, SERIOUSLY!” I felt like I must have had some teen girl version of male patterned baldness or something. I mean, it’s thin, but you can’t see my scalp or anything.

    Since then some stylists wait for me to bring it up, and others are tactful about mentioning it so they can help me choose a cut that adds volume or learn how to style it better. But sheesh!

    That’s still nothing compared to your experience with Boobs McGoo. :-/ I’m just glad that you were accidentally charged the low price. Hope you find a better place!

    Liked by 1 person

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