A different kind of love story….

I’m beginning to notice how remarkably uncomfortable it can make some people when someone speaks highly or positively about themselves.

I have recently given myself praise and received sarcastic remarks that indicates maybes I’m full of myself on more than one occasion. Don’t get me wrong these people are not reacting with malice; it’s just unusual for someone to be speaking fondly of themselves. It’s awkward for them and they don’t quite know where to put themselves. It would seem that it’s socially unacceptable to be kind to/proud of yourself. However putting yourself down to others is totally fine, accepted and normal. I’m sorry but how utterly backwards is that?

After years of self-loathing, feeling that I had no redeeming qualities, nothing important to say and wanting to shrink in every way possible so as to be feel accepted in this world – I got tired. Exhausted in fact of trying not to stand out for fear of judgement but at the same time be interesting, cool or whatever the hell I thought people wanted me to be.

So at the start of 2016 I made a promise to myself to cut out the negative self-talk and just be unapologetically me. I have literally wasted YEARS of my life trying to fit in or to be someone else and now that I’m discovering who I am, I rather like myself. I am kind, I stand up for what I believe in, and I’m honest, loyal, caring and absolutely hilarious! The list goes on!

I could allow the uncomfortable reactions I’m getting from people to eat away at me, allow my insecurities to force me to believe I should shrink and hide away once again.

Not an effin’ chance!

I know reading this will make some of you shake your head or roll your eyes but ask yourself why? You may be thinking I love myself, that I’m blowing my own trumpet and you know what? Yeah! I totally am and why the hell not? I am still humble; I would never put anyone down to feel good about myself, in fact encouraging others to feel good about themselves makes me feel good about myself. It’s a love train that I’m going to ride everyday on my commute to awesome town!

If I write a great piece or like my new hair cut there is absolutely nothing wrong with me saying just that. If feeling that way is only acceptable when I’ve received a compliment then that would mean I was awaiting validation from others. I don’t need that permission.

Where does it say that we have to hate ourselves? Where does it say we have to act/look a certain way to please the eyes of others? Absolutely nowhere, that counts.

The only way to turn this around is positive remarks! The more we hear them from others about their selves and speak them of ourselves, the more normal it will become. If everyone talked about the things they liked about themselves from the beginning then we wouldn’t be in this world of social validation. Body shaming and bullying would fall on deaf ears.

So I’m going to start with me as that’s all I have influence over at the moment. I will make this my fearless year yet!

The world might not be ready or comfortable for me to love myself but I totally am!

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11 thoughts on “A different kind of love story….

  1. This is great! I’m on the same journey. It’s way less exhausting to feel good about yourself and others than to live in constant fear of judgement. And it makes you (me) happier. I’ll get on the train to awesome town with you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t say too much about myself, either positive or negative. I can tell you that I basically like myself though. I also know I have flaws, some I can do something about if I choose, others that I can’t do anything about. I think my positives outweigh my negatives. It’s easy for me to fall asleep most nights.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We all have flaws, I will quite happily apologise for them if they cause upset but other than that I normally talk about them in a humorous way. Don’t get me wrong I don’t sit and talk about myself all day everyday but if I feel happy about something I’ve accomplished, what I’m wearing etc I will say so if I feel like it! That’s great that you can recognise that. For years my negatives outweighed the positives!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Love this post and your positive attitude, I wish I had more confidence and loved myself more before this year , as only now have I started realising how important it is to speak kindly about ourselves and to truly love yourself! I wrote a post about how water crystals were tested, one lot being spoken to positive and encouraging words and the other with negative and hurtful words, and the difference in formation of the crystals after the same amount of time was insane! https://unite-and-inspire.com/2016/05/02/life-is-really-very-simple-what-we-give-out-we-get-back-louise-hay/

    Keep it up and ignore those who are negative!

    Taryn 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Bravo, Purpledreamer, this is such a welcome post. Lots of others talk about how we must love ourselves before we can truly love someone else, but should we have to do it in secret? Self-love does not have to go hand-in-hand with phony humility. Rich

    Liked by 1 person

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