Sometimes they come back…

They always come back, always! Well not always… there was that first one from my mid teens, broke my heart he did. My mother said he would be back…never heard from him again. Ok, well they ALMOST always come back!

I am of course talking about exes, whether they are ex boyfriends, hook ups or even flirtations that didn’t develop. Why is it that they always seem to check in on us every once in a while?

I’ve had 2 – that’s right 2 people from my past just casually dropping me a line to ask how I am or an even more mortifying question of why I had removed them from Facebook. Mate, why do you even care? And why are you actively searching for me?

I don’t believe there is any reason to stay friends with an ex unless there is a friendship before or there are kids involved. What are we hanging on to? They’re exes for a reason after all, aren’t we supposed to leave them behind and move on?

It’s bizarre and it always leaves me feeling mystified, second guessing myself, unsure about my knee jerk reaction and whether I was too hasty to delete them or too rude in my replies.

Why is our world momentarily shook up every so often with their “Hello Stranger” message?

I have a number of theories on this:

1 – They want to know if they still have any sort of power/hold over you.

2 – They are relying on you for an ego boost when they’re going through a dry spell or even worse they’re not happy in their current relationships.

3 –You’re their “what if” person.

4 – They don’t like to see you move on or being happy.

It could just be a morbid curiosity; we all have that moment where we like to see how our exes’ lives are turning out without us. We have that little demon inside of us that hopes to see that they haven’t upgraded from us. Personally I think it’s because we are constantly evaluating our lives and hope that the paths we’ve chosen are the ones we are meant to be on.

Responding to the past every now again may be the reassurance we are looking for but the past is in the past for a reason. DON’T BRING IT IN TO YOUR PRESENT. I guarantee you will sharp remember why they are in your past and it will leave you feeling stupid with a bad taste in your mouth.

Indulging in it for even a minute gets you nowhere. Living vicariously through memories is all it is. If you feel the need to do this, perhaps look at what is missing from your present.

Somebody great (don’t know who) once said “If the past calls, let it go to voicemail as it has nothing new to say”. True story.

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10 thoughts on “Sometimes they come back…

  1. Maybe I’m an optimist or a little naive but I’d like to think if it was with someone you generally cared about, maybe they just hope that you’re happy and want to know how you’ve been?

    I know if i was to get in touch with my ex, that would be the reason.

    A London Singleton

    Liked by 1 person

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